Another dark ride, with a high-speed finale, and for this one, I've written up a full treatment. Without a doubt, this attraction concept owes a debt to the Jurassic Park rides, with its core idea of "scientific progress gone wrong" and the predictably messy results. But while some of the "living things" we'd meet are familiar to us, others are not. And the "boss monsters" would eat tyrannosaurs for lunch.

Some backstory:

From the Nujenex Corp. 2015 Annual Report:

“...Our plans to secure more government contracts and introduce more branded products into the retail market stream will be bolstered by robust and aggressive public relations initiatives. Overcoming the average consumer’s wariness regarding genetic engineering must remain a top priority as we ramp up our lobbying efforts in Washington D.C. and around the world...

”...Along with our coordinated broadcast, print and social network information campaign, we are creating a “world’s fair pavilion” style ride adjacent to our R&D lab. This informative and entertaining attraction (akin to Hershey’s “Chocolate World” at their theme park resort in Pennsylvania) will use a combination of multimedia, music and ride-through habitats to emphasize the end-benefits and - more importantly - the complete safety of all of our products...

“...Construction is well underway and we expect this attraction to open within the first quarter of 2016.”

From the treatment, the beginning of the ride:

There is a train of vehicles on steel rails. Each “pod” has onboard speakers and is capable of rotating 45 and 90 degrees in either direction. The pods are all facing outwards toward us as we board. Once all are secured, the pods rotate 45 degrees, facing forward, and we’re off.

The Nujenex corporate “anthem” (the worst kind of uplifting treacle imaginable) begins playing through the speakers as we enter the first show room, a huge projection dome. The vehicles turn to face one side of the dome.

Various images fade across the dome: happy, multigenerational families; promotional stills of Nujenex products - “Tomatoes Plus! Now In Designer Colors!” - “Pookles, The Cat That Barks!”; farmers standing in front of abundant crops; doctors holding smiling children. It feels like an EPCOT ride designed by a team of accountants.

The anthem ends – “Nooojenex, Nooojenex, Nooooojenex!” – and the vehicles enter a tunnel to the next show scene.

We glide into a large greenhouse, filled with tremendous plants, towers of vines from floor to ceiling - it’s an alien rainforest run amok. There are clumps of tomatoes in a rainbow of colors, carrots several feet long, unrecognizable flower blossoms. The track follows a serpentine path through this jungle.

Over the speakers, a pre-recorded voice: “One of our primary goals at Nujenex is to create nutritious vegetation that can grow abundantly in almost any soil, so that hunger is a thing of the past. We are even working to engineer plants that can protect themselves against predatory insects, eliminating the use of harsh and dangerous pesticides.”

At that moment, we thread through a row of corn stalks... and without warming, several HISSING vines, each tipped with venus flytrap-like mouths, rise up on either side and aggressively hover towards us, like snakes poised to strike.

Shortly after, things start to go off-script.

While much of the special effects are intended to be filmed and projected, some animatronics would be involved, two of them rather large. As envisioned, this ride wouldn't be "Harry Potter" expensive, but would likely require an investment that only a major regional park could justify.

Still, when Cedar Point gets around to spending $25-30 million on a scary, high-tech dark ride, I hope they give me a call.