The Mysteries of the Black Bayou



Cajun folklore is pretty rich, stocked with supernatural entities like the shape-shifting loup garou; the mystical feufollet; nightmare witches; Letiche, the bastard child abandoned in the swamps, raised by gators, and grown into a monster with scaled skin, and webbed hands and feet.
And what I want is a ride that brings together some of these elements (and adds to them) to create a Cajun-flavored, spooky whitewater raft adventure that takes place in a magically enhanced corner of a Louisiana swamp. You don’t usually find treacherous rapids in this sort of environment, but that’s just one of the mysteries…

Deep in the heart of the Black Bayou, there is a realm that is protected by the spirits, a safe haven for all manner of creatures that live outside our mortal world. It is not on any map; it cannot be seen under the light of the sun. Many have tried to find this realm and none have succeeded. But woe to those who do, for they will be treated as unwanted intruders, by the things that live there, and even the water itself.

As this is all supposed to take place at night, the entire ride would be enclosed. And I’d want on-board audio for each of the rafts, “marine” speakers in each of the headrests (and elsewhere, if possible), as the soundtrack for this attraction would be Saint-Saëns’ Danse Macabre.
We’d board our rafts in a decrepit shack at the edge of the bayou and float along a gentle current as the music begins.
A dense mist engulfs us, the woods close in, and the water begins to push us faster. Soon, we’re in their world.
The trees and the flora, recognizable at the start, are now twisted, fantastical. The lights of the feufollet dance in the air overhead. Things hiding in the bushes snarl and spit water at us as we pass.
During one stretch of powerful rapids, we can hear the howl of werewolves somewhere close. One of the enormous beasts lunges at us from the river’s bank, jaws snapping.
There are water hazards aplenty: bizarre geysers, waterfalls, whirlpools that spin us uncontrollably. Ghostly specters appear everywhere.
As the music builds, we approach a gargantuan tree that towers over the stream, straddling the waters with thick, knotted roots. A gap in the bark looks like the face of a monster, its mouth open wide, waiting to swallow us whole. And the water pours us right into that mouth...

What happens there is the beginning of the end of this voyage, and what I envision would be completely surreal and something that has not yet been done with a whitewater raft ride. I'm fairly certain the technology exists to make it happen. But know that we are ultimately expelled from this realm, in forceful fashion.

Another very expensive proposition, all of this. But a creepy raft ride would be swell, I think.