ThrillRide! Special Features

Knott's Scary Farm Halloween Haunt 2009
Oct. 17th

We planned on seeing the first Hanging show which started at 8:00, so we thought we'd try one more maze before assembling in front of the stage. To the Cavern!

The Calico Mine Train ride, one of Knott's originals, is a must-hit any time of year, if only for its dated charm. And as I love/loath da big spiders, the Haunt version, Black Widow's Cavern, is a special pleasure for me.

Choo-choo train... to Hell!

Toot-toot! goes the choo-choo... to Hell!

Sure, a lot of it is silly, but there were some good scares in the dark, and the big "boss" arachnid is pretty darned kewl. (Makes me wish they'd leave him in there all year 'round.)

Then it was off the train and back down to the Calico main stage for "The Hanging - Wrath of the Witch." If you're familiar with this particular show, you know the drill: very PG-13-rated jokes aimed at recent pop culture phenomena (movies, primarily), with some jabs at Disney and Universal Studios thrown in for good measure, wrapped up in a "plot" about executing some poor soul. This year's victim was said witch, who turns out to be... well, I won't say, but you know her well if you're keeping up with international singing sensations.

The Executioner - he's one bad mofo.

Let the blood-lust flow!


Ya got Wolverine, Professor Dumbledore, some Star Trek folks, and many more making appearances. Along with two fine ladies, one of whom is our friend, Anais, the brunette on the right, center stage.

Give it up for Anais!

"Captain Smirk" is our hero, and as usual, his prime directive is to score hot chix. Looking good, Anais!

Fire good!

There's plenty of pyro to satisfy your burning urges.


And that creature on the upper right? That's Octomom, complete with dangling octo-tentacles. Dig this: apparently, Nadya Suleman, the real-life Octomom, actually came to the park that night and there was some talk of changing lines to protect her delicate sensibilities. Posh on that, I say... she gets what she deserves...

Transformers, Harry Potter, Christian Bale, The Governator, the mopey stars of "Twilight," they all get skewered (some literally) before the actual hanging occurs, much blood is splattered, Capt. Smirk saves the day, and everyone lives happily ever after, sort of. The End.

There's definitely some laughs and the cast was bawdy, broad and having a lot of fun. Good times.




© Robert Coker
All Rights Reserved

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